Do Not CallThe National Do Not Call Registry … what an epic fail!

While the intentions behind the establishment of a “Do Not Call” registry should be applauded, the execution thereof is lacking at best. After all — there is a reason why all my numbers are on the registry, regardless of who you are or the reasons behind your call. I DO NOT CARE! I DO NOT WANT YOU TO CALL ME!

Although the number of telemarketing calls have certainly decreased, the number of supposedly “legitimate” calls have not. Instead of looking at exactly who is legally prohibited from calling you, let us take a moment to look at who is allowed to call you even if you are listed in the National Do Not Call Registry.

Political Organizations

Come election time, the phone rings hot with various political organizations eager to get your vote.

“Yes, vote for me! Not for my equally incompetent opponent!”

“We campaign for [insert lame stuff here], even though we know you most likely do not care.”

“Save our state! Save our country! Save your children from being eaten by large vermin!! … Just vote for us, and we will save you money on your car insurance!”

And it goes on, and on, and on … These phone calls are really annoying. And it is not like there is ever a human being on the other end. Pre-recorded messages. Some bot speaking to you. Insulting! If you do not even care to place a human on the other side of the line, why should I care to listen? I will tune you out like I do TV commercials.

So, why again are political organizations allowed to call? Beats me! (Probably has something to do with the fact that politicians are the ones drafting the legislation … and did not want to exclude themselves from the elect few many who are allowed to break the law for your supposed benefit.)

Charities

You know, I am all for charities. In fact, I make regular charitable contributions. I have made it a habit to donate 10% of my income (before taxes) to charitable work. Once every month, I also fast (abstain from eating for two meals) and as a small token donate an undisclosed amount of money for the benefit of those in need. Additionally, I frequently donate both time and money to charitable work, whether it be the local food bank, a neighbor in need of a meal, or anything similar.

My wife and I have also from time to time donated to various other causes, such as for the benefit of burn victims, children with cancer, and many others.

But there are so many charities out there. And they keep calling and calling and calling! I have no reason to feel bad for turning them down if making a donation is especially inconvenient. My foremost responsibility is towards my family and my “neighbor” (in the Biblical sense). One cannot always contribute. And one can definitely not donate to every organization calling dibs on the pocket book.

Just take my word for it, okay? If I say “no” when you ask for $100, I am only going to be annoyed by you trying to squeeze $50, $25, $10, or $5 out of me.

“… although, if you only donate $5, you will not get the fancy stickers in the mail, you cheap and horrible person!!”

What is with the hostility there, Paco? Why do you insist on trying to make me feel bad simply because I said “no”? No, I may not be able to give “$5 at least”. In fact, I may not want to give you anything, since you are annoying me so! Come to think of it, you have annoyed me every day for the past two weeks!

So, why are charities on the white list again? I would make plenty of charitable contributions without them harassing me. In fact, I am more likely to donate to a cause if they have not previously called me.

Telephone Surveyors

Okay, this one I can actually understand. First of all, you do not get that many calls from surveyors. And, having been involved with related matters, I know how important public opinion is. So, I shall give them a break. You can call … as long as it is not too often. (Sorry, changed my mind …)

epicfailTelemarketers and Companies Trying to Sell Stuff

Wait, I thought the DNC registry was specifically there to stop them from calling? Ah, yes, but there are “exceptions”. A company whose sole intent is to sell you junk is allowed to call you, despite you being listed on the Do Not Call registry, if:

  • you have given written consent to them calling you (duh!)
  • you have purchased something (anything) from the company within the last 18 months (ouch!)
  • you have “made an inquiry” to the company within the last 3 months

Come again? So, just because I purchased something from you, you have the right to call me and bother me? I do not think so! No wonder the big and annoying companies are trying to acquire the small and nice ones, just so they can make more legitimate calls to drive us mad.

“Sorry, but you have made a purchase from our company … well, not directly, but from a wholly owned subsidiary and … Actually, we just own the whole country, so whenever you do anything, you implicitly grant us the right to call you!”

This makes the whole law and National Do Not Call Registry a little moot, would you not agree?

Do Not Call registry … Do NOT Call registry …

DO NOT CALL!

I file legitimate complaints with the Federal Trade Commission on an almost weekly basis. But the calls keep coming.

And it gets even worse when you run a privately held company (like I do). You see, business-to-business calls are not covered under this law at all; neither are faxes. I get calls from India (!) trying to convince me to outsource … I get calls from banks and credit institutions trying to run me into debt … I get calls from people who wish to verify the company’s address information, so that they can legally send me more spam and unwanted mail.

It is an evil circle, but I have finally realized how to break out of it!

wna

That is right! I am going to start a National Will Not Answer Registry! After registering yourself (or not, if you choose not to) you can sleep soundly, knowing that you have taken a stance against unwanted calls. You know they are going to keep calling you anyway!

The Will Not Answer registry is also unique in that it does not exclude anyone. Political organizations? Bah! Charities? Would not think so! Telephone surveyors? Riiiight …

Take a stance against unwanted phone calls! Fight for your right not to be bothered by anyone, unless you foolishly ask to be!

Besides, there is nothing sweeter than being able to tell the bot on the other end of the line:

“I know that you do not care about me not wanting your calls. But know that I am on the listed in the National Will Not Answer Registry and will never be bothered by you again!”

Sign up now! Join the cause against telemarketing, and for the freedom to choose who to accept calls from! Make a statement, and make it boldly!

FINE PRINT: TERMS AND RESTRICTIONS APPLY. CALLER ID AND BASIC SMARTS NECESSARY TO PARTICIPATE. YOU WILL SACRIFICE YOUR FIRSTBORN CHILD ON THE WAL-MART ALTAR IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY WITH FACTUAL BEHAVIOR RELATED SOLELY TO THE EXPEDIENT APPLICABILITY OF AN OTHERWISE INCLUSIVE PROHIBITATION WITH REGARDS TO THE SECTIONS IN THIS AGREEMENT.


“On busy days in our telemarketing centers, I bring in buffet lunches, so people don’t have to get up from their stations to go to lunch. But, I haven’t yet gotten them to accept the catheter idea I proposed.”
Jim McCann

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